I never should have gotten this far but I have and there is still more to come!
Everything that happened to make me feel like life just wasn’t fair or just began in childhood.
I’m still married to my first love, Laurie, for 39 years now. We are proud parents to 3 children with amazing spouses and grandparents to 9 beautiful grandbabies!! I am a freedom seeker and I love travelling, caravan adventures & sailing.
I was the black sheep of my family, never really fitting in, because I rebelled against the strict catholic upbringing, much to my mother’s disgust. My mother used to divide and conquer our large family, with punishment and reward, ladened with guilt and shame to make me comply and some siblings, to break my spirit but I never did. I learned how to survive back then, and I needed to learn how to heal and thrive.
My father was pretty heavy-handed in his punishment, being emotionally unavailable and lashing out for the smallest of errors, we clashed a great deal. He was an alcoholic, bit of a con artist and manic depressant which made him unpredictable and untrustworthy. This really messed with my head as a teenager, the only way to deal with it was to hide it, keep the family secrets to myself.
To be Fearless is to Be Limitless!
As I grew into an adult, he became very manipulative, telling half-truths, taking my money with the empty promises of paying me back. His mental state became even more unpredictable and frightening, illusions of grandeur and narcissism caused me an enormous amount of mental stress and emotional anxiety. So many stories of his mental and alcohol episodes I had to deal with while having my own young family to keep safe, I was so torn.
It took me an enormous amount of inner strength to be able to choose differently for myself, my marriage, how I raised my children. I vowed that I would not raise my children in the same manner as I was raised. I wanted to foster loving relationships and most importantly I wanted to discover who I really was.
Then life threw me a lifeline…
The opportunity to heal my childhood took me on my own personal and spiritual healing pathway. As strong as I was to survive, I still took on beliefs that were not mine, ‘I must be bad, it’s my fault, there is something wrong with me, I’m never enough’, and I needed to heal myself in order to be the mother and wife I had always wanted to be. With each step, I grew stronger, more resilient and I started the enquiry of what I really wanted for my life.
This journey was not always easy, it has many twists and turns. There is much buried in our subconscious that it was hard to separate from a conditioned childhood experience and find my own true thoughts and beliefs.
When I did, I knew I wanted to experience all the goodness of life, one rich with adventure and possibilities. I studied many modalities and my love and fascination of how people heal from their trauma grew. I used all my newfound knowledge and the experiences that life had served me and transformed my life into one where I have freedom, I found my voice and grew my courage and confidence.
And now I am an alchemist healer, who supports people on their own healing journey in a myriad of ways, all connected to heart, soul and higher self.
Book a chat with me today – https://innerchildharmonycoaching.com.au/online-bookings/
Most of the people I assist are black sheep just like me, usually with a mother wound still inflicted and causing pain. They had rebelled and suffered the consequences, the biggest being that they never felt like they truly felt safe to belong anywhere. This created what some people call the ‘chronic people pleaser’, always needing to change to fit in, keeping the peace, no matter what the cost, usually being the martyr, being overlooked or dismissed after giving so much (just some of the behaviours & patterns).
Never speaking up just in case you are punished, is a good safety and survival mechanism when you are a child but has dire consequences as an adult. Because you are always handing your power over to someone or something else. More PTSD & CPTSD symptoms attached to the nervous system like an electric fence, never allowing yourself to get close to that fence which meant danger.
Many of my clients have been on their own search of self-healing for many years as well, just like me. We have had many fantastic sessions, but many have not been successful or felt safe in the processes, which had left me very wary of the next one. Through my own journey, I now make sure I am a safe and protective zone to which every Inner Child feels they don’t need to hide or keep silent any longer, once the ‘secret’ is released energetically is when transformation truly takes place. Magic happens! Life happens!
I have now consolidated my considerable collection of modalities of the past 18 years, into my ‘Healers Vault’. Inside are all my skills, wisdom, knowledge and experience in helping people heal from all types of childhood trauma. This has now been created into my flagship program, ‘Fawn to Fearless’, which helps those healing from trauma to identify a fourth and hidden trauma response.
Because Inner Child work and healing is deeply personal, thoughts of ‘how will I react or respond’ sadly not everyone is willing to commence, or many times will not complete what is necessary to heal and I understand it. That is why I have created the Fawn to Fearless program, it is learning the background of the Fawn trauma response, being the observer of your life in all areas and becoming more compassionate and loving with self as you go through the 8-week program. It is truly a journey of self-discovery, one that you find more about yourself and become the authentic you that you have been waiting for or looking for and your own cheerleader.
Every master was once a disaster – my motto!
We are all familiar with the fight, flight and freeze responses, but in my studies and continuous quest for self-healing, I discovered the 4th response to trauma, which is the Fawn. This discovery has changed my life direction and purpose since studying it in August 2020. It is the most powerful work that I have ever created and am so excited to see how it will help even more people heal from childhood trauma! PTSD & CPTSD clients are receiving amazing changes with the program.
The Fawn is the hidden trauma response that has the first and final say in your responses, which you mostly react to, and how you live your life. The Fawn was created very young by your internal resources that satisfied the primary need for safety and survival, at any cost but does not switch off when you reach adulthood, you are the only one who can do that when you know-how.
The next Fawn to Fearless 8-week program commences, 15th July, 2021.
https://innerchildharmonycoaching.com.au/fawn-to-fearless-landing-page/
This learning to master the Fawn trauma response, is super important to me because I’ve seen how much life sucks when you are stuck with no way out as it is trapped within your nervous system. When you think that this is all life has to offer and secretly yearn for a deeper richer experience of life. One where you get to live life on your terms, no more missing out, no more being quiet, no more handing your power over to others. No more staying away from your boundary fence (PTSD & CPTSD nervous system) to step into your own land of freedom and abundance on the other side.
Freedom requires us to be brave, to be limitless, and most importantly say yes to ourselves, we only have one life, and time is short. I wanted to help people quickly transition through their pain and into a relationship with themselves, one of deep inner trust that fostered resilience.
Many times, I have felt the fighting within myself, the good against the rebel, the good being the Fawn trauma response, PTSD, keeping me safe by being small, quiet, invisible and most times insignificant. While the rebel is my higher self, soul, wanting me to stay awake and alert, as there is something better out there beyond this fear barrier, the freedom my soul has waiting for me on the other side.
Many times, I thought I was bipolar or had other mental problems, again, thought something must be wrong with me but in actual fact, it was my own Inner Child again being silenced and controlled not only in childhood but again by my mind in adulthood.
So, the internal struggle continued, with the inner critic ‘you’re not enough’ and the outer critic is ‘tone it down, who do you think you are?’ and my life was at the mercy of the Fawn fortress in my mind. Our past beliefs and definitions we had made about ourselves in childhood are the rules and regulations the reptilian brain must obey, once there is any trauma, it is trapped in the reptilian brain to be enforced for as long as it is in control, usually until you die.
This then creates your reality and future, what that means is whatever I vowed, declared, yelled and screamed at any age before 7 years old is still in force now. Like the old legal systems with outdated laws, which need to be updated, only these ones are my internal laws controlling how I am to be in this world and how I will be treated in life, controlled by Fawn Trauma Response (PTSD & CPTSD). In the program, you get to know how to prevent this in the future. Prevention is better than the Cure’ of medication, or excesses of alcohol, food, debt, smoking, self-sabotaging, the list goes on.
To know thyself is to heal thyself
We did a poll in our Facebook group and the results said, ‘Freedom wins!’
For a lot of the women who come and participate in the Fawn to Fearless program, tell me that they experience more peace and by that they mean the mental mind chatter is quieter, less critical, which means they get to hear their soul voice through their heart with more clarity. This clarity allows them to act with more courage and confidence, if this sounds like you – if you want more peace, clarity and the courage and confidence to take action on your dreams then, email me for more information, book a chat with me, the link is below.
Here’s what others have said about the program.
“The program has allowed me to understand and consciously uncover and now change the patterns, habits and behaviours of this Fawn complex which have been running my life and ruining some parts of it unconsciously and autonomically for so many years.
It has allowed me to consciously notice and feel when I’m not included in activities with family, social and business where in the past I was voiceless, unseen and unworthy. The confidence I have gained, within the sacred supportive energy, now allows me the courage to speak up and to be included where once I was seemingly shy or background supporter. I am now receiving more social invitations as well”. Kerry, Brisbane
“I had realised where in the past I had sacrificed my time to say yes to family requests, while I forfeited and missed out on social time with my friends. I had noticed the ripple effect of my saying yes to family out of over-responsibility pleasing which meant letting down my friends socially as well as myself. I’ve now learnt to respond rather than feel guilted into saying yes, when I need to say no. It’s a new Fearless agreement in my rule book for my future.
I’ve also had the courage to speak up to people who have been rude, offensive or taken advantage of my kindness, where normally I am never confident, just suppress my feelings and try to forget about it. As Bernie teaches, the body doesn’t lie, and the suppression affects my health in many other ways, not anymore.” Tina, Gatton
“I feel I’m not so defensive in conversations and I am not attached to outcomes that I once was which means more freedom and openness for new friendships and business opportunities. I am able to ask for help without feeling guilted, feeling less than or feeling that I should be able to do this myself. I trust myself more as well as trusting others towards me, allowing myself to receive from others instead of only giving.
Fawn to Fearless programme has helped me to understand how I’ve become and why I behave this way, it’s given me the guidance and assistance to undo and untangle this old way of life and to create a new foundational path. The Fearless group along with Bernie’s leadership and guidance has allowed me to feel safe and secure, sharing personal information. I received all the encouragement and support I needed to face, heal and replace my old beliefs and limitations which had held me back for so long.” Sondre, Melbourne
If this speaks to your heart, book a call or click for more information. It’s never too late to start your life, begin today. When you realize how this Fawn trauma response complex hijacks your life through the amygdala, (which you will discover and begin to make the changes while on the course) it gives you a new lease on life and you can then move beyond all limitations so far in your life.
Click for more information of the amazing From Fawn to Fearless program starting 15th July https://innerchildharmonycoaching.com.au/fawn-to-fearless-landing-page/
Book a chat with me today – https://innerchildharmonycoaching.com.au/online-bookings/