You find yourself with friends or family who take too much and then leave without explanation?
You find yourself being bullied in the home, family, workplaces?
You are limited in your potential, opportunities & life in general, taking second best or none at all.
Live/ed in family entrenched unfair games of divide and conqueror punishment with no reward?
You still find yourself working hard but not compensated or rewarded appropriately $$. Or the money comes and goes without your consent? The bills coming in are equal to or greater than your income? What about the ‘unexpected’ debts, disasters expenses arriving at the same time?
Trying to live life with emotional blackmail combined with control by guilt & shame from others? Stemming from a failed childhood mother (or father) relationship.
Maybe finding yourself in one-sided relationships, where you are required to sacrifice/forfeit your dreams, vision, opinions, time and or value?
Maybe you are still assisting everyone else’s success in life, without ever including you?
You can’t say No! You are overwhelmed with work and personal commitments, but still unable to say no, when someone makes another request of your time.
People Pleasing is your way of life, without an exit.
If you feel like you are always last on your list, you may be acting in response to internalised trauma. Here’s what you should know about fawning.
People have different ways of coping with past trauma, and mental health specialists are starting to identify one response as “fawning,” or excessive people-pleasing. Developed as a way to attempt to avoid or mitigate further trauma, fawning tends to result in co-dependency, entrapment in toxic or abusive relationships, and emotional withdrawal.
By identifying this trauma response and seeking treatment to manage it, you can create opportunities for happier, healthier relationships and more balanced life in your future.
Understanding the Four Different Types of Trauma Responses
Therapists have identified four distinct types of responses to trauma caused by verbal, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, particularly in & from childhood. These responses tend to influence the quality of personal interactions many years after the trauma has occurred and carry equal ill-effects to your mental health and relationships with others in adult life.
According to Pete Walker, author of Complex PTSD, those who are repetitively traumatized in childhood, often learn to survive by over-relying on the use of one or two of the 4F Responses. Fixation in any one 4F response not only delimits the ability to access all the others but also severely impairs the individual’s ability to relax into an undefended state, circumscribing him in a very narrow, impoverished experience of life.
Fight types avoid real intimacy by unconsciously alienating others with their angry and controlling demands for the unmet childhood need of unconditional love;
Flight types stay perpetually busy and industrious to avoid potentially triggering interactions; Staying in your mind, not to feel. Workaholics,
Freeze types hide away in their rooms and reveries; Usually plagued with addictions to keep from making decisions forward in life, staying in limbo, frozen, paralysed.
Fawn types avoid emotional investment and potential disappointment by barely showing themselves – by hiding behind their helpful personas, over-listening, over-eliciting or overdoing for the other over responsible, over dependable, on duty always – by giving service but never risking real self-exposure and the possibility of deeper level rejection.
For me personally, the Fawn Response takes control and forfeits on your behalf, without your conscious knowledge or permission, anything that is not on its agenda or contract. Thus, living a life of the above attributes, until now.
More recently identified by mental health specialists, a “fawn” response is brought about by the attempt to avoid conflict and trauma, at any cost, by appeasing people. For children, this can be defined as a need to be a “good kid” in order to escape mistreatment by an abusive or neglectful parent.
As an adult, this means that in relationships you are consistently ignoring (being forfeited by the Fawn response) your own needs, values, vision and boundaries to conform to what you perceive to believe, others expect of you. (All stemming from childhood)
Breaking Free of Fawning and Fear
For those struggling with the effects of the fawning response, ownership is prime in uncovering the ingrained response. It is important to find a trusted support person to guide, support and navigate you away from the automated response to seek freedom beyond.
Many find that even when they are aware of fawning behaviour and the negative impacts resulting from it, that it is challenging to break out of it as a default response. This is due to the deeply ingrained idea that fawning will create safety, protection, and ultimate survival, which is no longer true!
Pete Walker, suggests that to successfully begin to positively alter this innate response, the root causes of trauma must be directly addressed. This allows you time to process, grieve, and rebuild a life that is not dictated and controlled by fear, by the trapped Inner Child.
How to minimise and manage the Fawn Response?
Through personal Soul Freedom Mentoring sessions, you will connect to your conscious higher self. Through the learned Soul Coaching practices and processes, you will reclaim what you thought was once lost, your voice, vision, visibility, a treasure chest of potential, dreams, goals, desires and even more.
Fawn to Fearless Program allows you the freedom to see the Fawn pattern from beginning to where you are now. It’s control and constriction of your life so far, hijacking any freedom you may have thought possible as an adult, returning you to that little lost fearful child you once were.
PUT Fawn to fearless info here……
There are several programs Soul Freedom Academy offers but this is the most effective program to regain your life, your Soul purpose and then recreating with courage and confidence, the new foundation steps towards your future life of freedom, abundance and happiness.
Book a Chat with me today let’s get your life back on track.